A blogger at last! After years of procrastination I, the great Soundini, have finally decided to make an appearance and join the esteemed ranks of the veteran bloggers to spill my guts out to the world. Er... maybe not. To be honest, it is this which kept me from blogging all this while - an inability to shut up at the right time:) I always thought it was okay to pour my heart out to a journal. Or maybe friends & family. Soon grew to include neighbours. And then some colleagues. But documented proof of how mental I am for the world to read? Nah-ah! It wasn't so much the fear of how many people would read it as it was not knowing how much to reveal, not knowing the right thing to say and not knowing when to stop. Discourses in large groups used to leave me feeling exposed, vulnerable, always wondering if i said too much, didn't toe the line, looked stupid. And then these uncomfortable thoughts would fester and turn me into a withdrawn, cautious girl. One who slowly slipped into the role of passive listener from an active communicator.
So what's changed now? Well, I'm not sure I care too much about what's the right thing to say or the right time to stop anymore. Its part of my neo-nisha plan, you see - I've decided to banish the grey colour that my personality has begun to take. I've realized that I actually like who I am. And if I don't take the time out now to say what I feel and do what I want for myself, I never will. And then I'll just turn into the sullen-grey-girl. Erm..where does blogging fit in this you ask? See thats the thing. Ever done/ seen/ felt something profound/ stupid/ mundane that's fascinated/ awed/ bored you and you just want to talk/ laugh/ whine about it with someone? (phew!) Well I do. I have enough and more of those thoughts, dreams, ideas, opinions. And I want to share it with not just the friends, journals, colleagues et al. I want to share it with you. You, who have cared to read.
Anyway, enough said there. I'm hoping the brickbats (and maybe bouquets :)) will flow in with time.
And on that note, lets turn this page now, shall we?
